Great piece. I’ve been avidly following Holofcener since Lovely & Amazing, which got on my radar because I knew Keener from Tom DiCillo’s films and Out of Sight. Reading this makes me want to revisit Enough Said because while I liked it, I recall the general response to it being somewhat muted at the time.
Love Holofcener and love the piece, but I'm not sure if 62-year-old Julia Louis-Dreyfus is "middle-aged". That suggests she's going to live to 124, and I need her to live quite a lot longer than that.
I really enjoyed this piece. Despite being a Holofcener fan since Walking & Talking, I didn’t ever see Enough Said, which clearly I need to remedy. I absolutely loved You Hurt My Feelings. JLD seems like a perfect actor for her and clearly there’s a connection there (it’s interesting to think about Enough Said as the hand-off from the pricklier Keener to the more self-effacing Louis-Dreyfus as an acknowledgement of mellowing a bit as we age, blunting some of the sharp edges of youth). In any case, thanks for the kick in the pants to finally watch Enough Said!
I adore Enough Said. The plot is really contrived and silly in places, but it's one of my absolute favourite movies to just put on and hang out with the characters. I think James Gandolfini's range is incredibly underrated, as often happens when someone gives a great performance in an iconic role - his Enough Said character is so lovable. JLD is perfect in everything.
I think Keener could have successfully played either role in Enough Said. (Not a complaint! I love the casting as is, too.) She's prickly in Lovely & Amazing but not in Please Give or Friends With Money. Actually JLD would have killed as Marianne as well.
Jun 7, 2023·edited Jun 7, 2023Liked by Scott Tobias
I've enjoyed every Holofcener film I've seen, including 'Enough Said,' but for me 'You Hurt My Feelings' was on another level. Without seeming contrived, the writing gives every major character a crisis in confidence -- including the interior designer and actor couple played by Michaela Watkins and Arian Moayed -- and models the different ways the people around them try, and sometimes fail, to be supportive. There's a lot going on, but it's handled with a breeziness that makes it all look easy and natural.
It's true that the key scene is when Beth's son Elliott confronts her about the way her supportiveness has always put him in bad positions. The scene that really destroyed me, though, was when Don was trying to explain his stance on the book to Beth and she yells something raw like "I needed you to like it!" Boy, there must have been wildfire smoke in the theater. There was a book like that for me, my most personal book. My now-ex-wife had read something like a dozen drafts of it. Then, when it was moving toward publication and I had done two new drafts based on my editor's notes, she refused to read the final (and by far best) version. She said she had just read it too many times and couldn't go through it again. That's far from the only reason we split up, but it did put some deep cracks in the foundation.
I'm sure I'm far from the only one this film hits home for. 'You Hurt My Feelings' was very painful to watch, but also a joy, and also cathartic. Don and Beth make becoming better versions of ourselves seem very possible.
Michaela Watkins is another actress who's a perfect fit for Holofcener. All I want from the universe is a new Nicole Holofcener movie every 2-3 years, and for at least 50% of them to feature Michaela Watkins. And maybe one with Melanie Lynskey, if it's not too greedy?
I caught You Hurt My Feelings last week and really enjoyed it. It was a great theater going experience, too, one of those times where you can identify exactly who is heading into the same showing as you. Great to see a film like this with a crowd that's really on its wavelength. It spurred me to rewatch Please Give last weekend- still so good!
I've been mulling over the common criticism that I've heard of her films in the past ("The problems are so small! Who cares about the weird look your friend gave you when there's war in the world!" etc). I'm now convinced this is Holofcener's greatest strength. We *should* care more about what's happening in Ukraine or the climate crisis, but the argument we're having with our friend will always take up more mental space. We're humans, we get stuck on dumb stuff.
The fact that everything’s so “small” is also a reason it works really well with a large audience—the audience builds a reaction in a way that wouldn’t necessarily come out at home.
My only regret after watching You Hurt My Feelings is that it wasn't a limited series. As perfect as the movie is, I just wanted more!
Speaking of more Holofcener, check out Lucky Hank if you haven't. She directed the final two episodes (a story right in her wheelhouse), and the show is a marvel, especially for Mireille Enos, who surprised the hell out of me with her vivaciousness.
I saw the Lucky Hank pilot and liked it, but not quite enough to keep going, despite my affinity for Richard Russo and everyone involved. Hmmm…
And I like NH’s movies as movies. She’s really good at locking into a strong theme, getting a lot out of it in a little time, and ending her films exquisitely.
We almost stopped seeing LH after two episodes -- glad we stuck around. I think it's the 6th episode (a kind of a bottle episode) that really made it worth it.
Nobody's Fool is a perennial favorite around here...
I hadn't realized she was involved with Lucky Hank! I did not care for Lucky Hank - while Holofcener's movies tend to be "small" in a way I love, Lucky Hank is "small" in a way that's not for me. It was one of those shows I watched that immediately evaporated for me even as I was watching it. I love a good low-concept dramedy where not much happens and you can just enjoy the characters, but I didn't quite understand what Lucky Hank was going for or trying to do or be. The cast is wonderful, but I couldn't tell you the name of a single character with any confidence---I assume Bob Odenkirk's character must have been "Hank", but I would not bet money on it, and I couldn't even venture a guess at a second character's name. It just didn't make any impression on me at all - and this is a show I watched every episode of, not long ago.
I wouldn't dissuade anyone else from watching it - it just didn't do it for me. Do we know yet if there's a second season? I would give it another try, maybe.
I do have an affinity for academia -- I enjoyed The Chair as well. The uncertain ending of LH surely could lead to a second season, but I'd be surprised if there was another one. I can't imagine many people watched it, and there's no sequel to the novel.
I have not read the book, but from what I hear, the wife character (Lily, by Mireille Enos) hardly exists in the novel; I thought they did an admirable job of creating that character, though I know no one made any great impression on you, so as always, mileages vary...
LH was a funny experience for me, in that I really admired the work the actors were doing in a clinical sense. I thought Mireille Enos was terrific moment-to-moment. It just, I don't know, didn't all cohere for me into anything.
I loved both of these movies. Enough Said was the first of Holofcener's I'd seen, so after enjoying You Hurt My Feelings as much or more, I'm excited to go back and watch her others.
I started with Friends With Money and it was striking how mean all the characters were. It felt like these three movies trace an arc from "people are mean" to "maybe it's not good that people are mean?" and finally "But even if people weren't mean, would things still be hard?"
It made me really happy that Gandolfini got to play endearing characters like Albert in Enough Said and Doug in Welcome to the Rileys (a quite underrated drama that deserved better) after The Sopranos ended. Don't get me wrong, Tony Soprano and his other crime-related roles are fantastic and essential, but it was good to see him showcasing that fascinating vulnerability he can portray in characters that are good-natured and inherently kind, too.
While I really enjoyed You Hurt My Feelings and the themes it dissected, too, Enough Said had a much bigger impact on me. Nonetheless, Holofcener is definitely an intriguing filmmaker to pay attention to.
Great piece. I’ve been avidly following Holofcener since Lovely & Amazing, which got on my radar because I knew Keener from Tom DiCillo’s films and Out of Sight. Reading this makes me want to revisit Enough Said because while I liked it, I recall the general response to it being somewhat muted at the time.
Love Holofcener and love the piece, but I'm not sure if 62-year-old Julia Louis-Dreyfus is "middle-aged". That suggests she's going to live to 124, and I need her to live quite a lot longer than that.
Gonna go out on a limb and say that she still scans as middle-aged to most viewers
Let me hang off that limb with you. I was shocked when I learned that JLD is just eleven years younger than Jeannie Berlin, who played her mom!
I really enjoyed this piece. Despite being a Holofcener fan since Walking & Talking, I didn’t ever see Enough Said, which clearly I need to remedy. I absolutely loved You Hurt My Feelings. JLD seems like a perfect actor for her and clearly there’s a connection there (it’s interesting to think about Enough Said as the hand-off from the pricklier Keener to the more self-effacing Louis-Dreyfus as an acknowledgement of mellowing a bit as we age, blunting some of the sharp edges of youth). In any case, thanks for the kick in the pants to finally watch Enough Said!
I adore Enough Said. The plot is really contrived and silly in places, but it's one of my absolute favourite movies to just put on and hang out with the characters. I think James Gandolfini's range is incredibly underrated, as often happens when someone gives a great performance in an iconic role - his Enough Said character is so lovable. JLD is perfect in everything.
I think Keener could have successfully played either role in Enough Said. (Not a complaint! I love the casting as is, too.) She's prickly in Lovely & Amazing but not in Please Give or Friends With Money. Actually JLD would have killed as Marianne as well.
I've enjoyed every Holofcener film I've seen, including 'Enough Said,' but for me 'You Hurt My Feelings' was on another level. Without seeming contrived, the writing gives every major character a crisis in confidence -- including the interior designer and actor couple played by Michaela Watkins and Arian Moayed -- and models the different ways the people around them try, and sometimes fail, to be supportive. There's a lot going on, but it's handled with a breeziness that makes it all look easy and natural.
It's true that the key scene is when Beth's son Elliott confronts her about the way her supportiveness has always put him in bad positions. The scene that really destroyed me, though, was when Don was trying to explain his stance on the book to Beth and she yells something raw like "I needed you to like it!" Boy, there must have been wildfire smoke in the theater. There was a book like that for me, my most personal book. My now-ex-wife had read something like a dozen drafts of it. Then, when it was moving toward publication and I had done two new drafts based on my editor's notes, she refused to read the final (and by far best) version. She said she had just read it too many times and couldn't go through it again. That's far from the only reason we split up, but it did put some deep cracks in the foundation.
I'm sure I'm far from the only one this film hits home for. 'You Hurt My Feelings' was very painful to watch, but also a joy, and also cathartic. Don and Beth make becoming better versions of ourselves seem very possible.
Michaela Watkins is another actress who's a perfect fit for Holofcener. All I want from the universe is a new Nicole Holofcener movie every 2-3 years, and for at least 50% of them to feature Michaela Watkins. And maybe one with Melanie Lynskey, if it's not too greedy?
I caught You Hurt My Feelings last week and really enjoyed it. It was a great theater going experience, too, one of those times where you can identify exactly who is heading into the same showing as you. Great to see a film like this with a crowd that's really on its wavelength. It spurred me to rewatch Please Give last weekend- still so good!
I've been mulling over the common criticism that I've heard of her films in the past ("The problems are so small! Who cares about the weird look your friend gave you when there's war in the world!" etc). I'm now convinced this is Holofcener's greatest strength. We *should* care more about what's happening in Ukraine or the climate crisis, but the argument we're having with our friend will always take up more mental space. We're humans, we get stuck on dumb stuff.
The fact that everything’s so “small” is also a reason it works really well with a large audience—the audience builds a reaction in a way that wouldn’t necessarily come out at home.
My only regret after watching You Hurt My Feelings is that it wasn't a limited series. As perfect as the movie is, I just wanted more!
Speaking of more Holofcener, check out Lucky Hank if you haven't. She directed the final two episodes (a story right in her wheelhouse), and the show is a marvel, especially for Mireille Enos, who surprised the hell out of me with her vivaciousness.
I saw the Lucky Hank pilot and liked it, but not quite enough to keep going, despite my affinity for Richard Russo and everyone involved. Hmmm…
And I like NH’s movies as movies. She’s really good at locking into a strong theme, getting a lot out of it in a little time, and ending her films exquisitely.
We almost stopped seeing LH after two episodes -- glad we stuck around. I think it's the 6th episode (a kind of a bottle episode) that really made it worth it.
Nobody's Fool is a perennial favorite around here...
I hadn't realized she was involved with Lucky Hank! I did not care for Lucky Hank - while Holofcener's movies tend to be "small" in a way I love, Lucky Hank is "small" in a way that's not for me. It was one of those shows I watched that immediately evaporated for me even as I was watching it. I love a good low-concept dramedy where not much happens and you can just enjoy the characters, but I didn't quite understand what Lucky Hank was going for or trying to do or be. The cast is wonderful, but I couldn't tell you the name of a single character with any confidence---I assume Bob Odenkirk's character must have been "Hank", but I would not bet money on it, and I couldn't even venture a guess at a second character's name. It just didn't make any impression on me at all - and this is a show I watched every episode of, not long ago.
I wouldn't dissuade anyone else from watching it - it just didn't do it for me. Do we know yet if there's a second season? I would give it another try, maybe.
I do have an affinity for academia -- I enjoyed The Chair as well. The uncertain ending of LH surely could lead to a second season, but I'd be surprised if there was another one. I can't imagine many people watched it, and there's no sequel to the novel.
I have not read the book, but from what I hear, the wife character (Lily, by Mireille Enos) hardly exists in the novel; I thought they did an admirable job of creating that character, though I know no one made any great impression on you, so as always, mileages vary...
LH was a funny experience for me, in that I really admired the work the actors were doing in a clinical sense. I thought Mireille Enos was terrific moment-to-moment. It just, I don't know, didn't all cohere for me into anything.
I loved both of these movies. Enough Said was the first of Holofcener's I'd seen, so after enjoying You Hurt My Feelings as much or more, I'm excited to go back and watch her others.
I started with Friends With Money and it was striking how mean all the characters were. It felt like these three movies trace an arc from "people are mean" to "maybe it's not good that people are mean?" and finally "But even if people weren't mean, would things still be hard?"
It made me really happy that Gandolfini got to play endearing characters like Albert in Enough Said and Doug in Welcome to the Rileys (a quite underrated drama that deserved better) after The Sopranos ended. Don't get me wrong, Tony Soprano and his other crime-related roles are fantastic and essential, but it was good to see him showcasing that fascinating vulnerability he can portray in characters that are good-natured and inherently kind, too.
While I really enjoyed You Hurt My Feelings and the themes it dissected, too, Enough Said had a much bigger impact on me. Nonetheless, Holofcener is definitely an intriguing filmmaker to pay attention to.