A Gorge drinking game for those who haven't seen it yet-- take a drink every time Anya Taylor-Joy, immediately and regardless of distance, senses being watched.
There have been some bright spots — BEASTIE BOYS STORY, WOLFWALKERS, THE VELVET UNDERGROUND, THE TRAGEDY OF MACBETH, KILLERS OF THE FLOWER MOON — but they’re few and far between.
I think, by and large, Apple TV+'s output is better than most streamers, particularly when it comes to series. (But I also like THE GORGE a little more than Scott.)
Me can forgive their weak movie output because for my mallomars no one doing TV better right now. Apple have more good shows that start with S — Severance, Slow Horses, Silo, Sisters-comma-Bad, Shrinking, Sunny, Schmigadoon! — than any other network have good shows period.
(And for that reason, me have high hopes for Studio next month!)
All things I want to see and kept forgetting why they weren’t showing up on the other platforms (or I’d later get on Criterion). But I forgot about Macbeth and Flower Moon.
I think the parts of LONGLEGS that worked were probably my favourite movie of the past twenty years or so, and I love '80s Stephen King an unusual amount, so Osgood Perkins adapting a story from Skeleton Crew should be right up my alley. But from this review, Perkins seems to have really crossed a line here from horror into pure gross-out. (I'm referring to his protagonist being a grown man named "Petey".)
Go see it; it's a ton of fun. Perkins took a lot of liberties with the original story, but he had to. And yes, lots of gory effects, but the movie aims more for dark humour than horror.
I feel the story is among King's weaker efforts. I'm a King completist, though I still have to catch up with some of the adaptations from recent years. I've ranked them! (warning: Shawshank and Shining are controversially low) https://letterboxd.com/clauditorium/list/stephen-king-movies/
King's greatest gift was always realistically capturing how someone would react to the intrusion of a horror scenario into their life. And, sure, I absolutely believe that if a haunted toy monkey were stalking someone and killing people, that experience would make that person into a miserable, dour, abusive asshole (which is how I remember the protagonist from the short story - not sure if I recall correctly.) But if I do recall, the story really needed to pick a lane---either make the protagonist a villain or give him some redeeming qualities. The Monkey did neither.
Skimmed a few of your takes - it's interesting how subjective horror is, isn't it? Quite a lot of stuff that doesn't work for you works for me, and vice-versa. Hundred percent with you on Shawshank, though. As I was saying over on the other Reveal thread from last week about King adaptations, it's so weird that they did *that* to *this* story and that it ended up so popular.
Funny, I don't recall The Monkey's protagonist being an asshole, but it's been a few years. I write a few sentences for every King thing I read, and this is what I had for this one: "Ineffective because from the start, it feels like nothing can be done to solve the problem. Also, it makes no sense that aside from kicking it, he never tries to destroy it. Overlong and repetitive. Well-written, but for naught." I say this as a big fan: a LOT of King stories are overlong.
I'm very, very curious what you'll think of how the movie presents the protagonist. If you can remember to, let me know here once you've seen the film!
I think Darabont's core problem is that he's pretentious. His movies are really well made, but his desire to be seen as a great writer-director brings them down.
"Ineffective because from the start, it feels like nothing can be done to solve the problem."
This is the stock complaint people should be making about King in place of "his endings suck". He loves his unkillable, unstoppable monsters! (Not always, but enough of the time that it's a problem.)
At some point, I might do what you've done and go through and rank the King adaptations I've seen on LB with a short writeup---I've mostly only seen adaptations of novels published before 2000 or so. I'll tag you on there if I get around to that.
The country is screaming towards autocracy and everything sucks. I am determined to enjoy the dumb violent monkey movie. It's literally the least I can do.
"It is fortunate for screenwriter Zach Dean that much of what follows is shrouded in the fog of “spoiler alert,” because the truth about the gorge is immensely stupid and nonsensical. Director Scott Derrickson—best known for Sinister, Doctor Strange, and a lot of very bad tweets"
two exquisite burns back to back!
re: the monkey, I'm very unclear why people keep winding up the monkey?
I used to feel this way and then I sat through 40 minutes of Ghosted, and 4 episodes of that Noomi Rapace show about parallel dimensions that was so obviously from the first 5 minutes about parallel dimensions but continued to pretend that we all hadn't yet figured out it was about parallel dimensions.
Had similar thoughts about The Monkey - started off fun, but I wanted more from the movie. Left the movie feeling pretty disappointed all in all.
On a side note - are you guys still posting these reviews to Rotten Tomatoes? Haven't seen your reviews there in a bit, and thought you guys stopped posting for a while.
I had high hopes for The Monkey as a longtime Stephen King fan. The trailer has been playing nonstop at my local Alamo. I still have a lot of affection for the first few Final Destination movies and this seemed like the same mix of gore and fun. Oh well.
Another item for the list of things buried at Apple TV+: the excellent WeWork series with Anne Hathaway and Jared Leto. Have we as a culture truly recognized Anne Hathaway for the "eww-yucky" face she makes after sipping a disappointing smoothie, in the midst of a business meeting about WeWork's total meltdown?
Caught up with The Monkey and the review is correct - pretty flat and lame because it sort of just does two jokes over and over (1. someone dies suddenly, and 2. people talk in some “surprising” unfiltered way like when Maslany goes on about death to her two kids). Got pretty tired of it pretty fast, although there are amusing moments here and there. The Adam Scott opening is the best part because he’s so hammy.
Anyway I didn’t like Longlegs at all either so maybe Osgood Perkins is not my guy
I must disagree on The Monkey, which I thought was a blast. To me it wins the prize for "most improved from page to screen" King adaptation (which is not the same as "best adaptation"). The short story felt overlong and repetitive, with some logical issues. The movie aims for fun, and it hits that target with gusto. And though it cheerfully throws realism out the window in service of that fun, it sticks to its internal logic. Creative deaths and lots of dark humour (much of it created by smart editing). And the monkey looks creepy. The brevity of the original narrative needed to be expanded to become a movie, and Perkins came up with a solid story.
"But the film feels like an adaptation of a video game that doesn’t exist" - could easily fit into the Control / Alan Wake universe, and I don't think that's a coincidence, considering the name "Darklake".
A Gorge drinking game for those who haven't seen it yet-- take a drink every time Anya Taylor-Joy, immediately and regardless of distance, senses being watched.
Her character is just. that. good.
“ along with other films that will never be heard from again.”
Nonsense. We’ve all seen Finch. The 2021 or 2020 Tom Hanks film about…submarines?
The submarine one is pretty good! I could not stand THE FINCH, in large part because I did not like the robot. And I love robots!
I saw GREYHOUND. Never got around to FINCH.
There have been some bright spots — BEASTIE BOYS STORY, WOLFWALKERS, THE VELVET UNDERGROUND, THE TRAGEDY OF MACBETH, KILLERS OF THE FLOWER MOON — but they’re few and far between.
I think, by and large, Apple TV+'s output is better than most streamers, particularly when it comes to series. (But I also like THE GORGE a little more than Scott.)
Me can forgive their weak movie output because for my mallomars no one doing TV better right now. Apple have more good shows that start with S — Severance, Slow Horses, Silo, Sisters-comma-Bad, Shrinking, Sunny, Schmigadoon! — than any other network have good shows period.
(And for that reason, me have high hopes for Studio next month!)
All things I want to see and kept forgetting why they weren’t showing up on the other platforms (or I’d later get on Criterion). But I forgot about Macbeth and Flower Moon.
The trailer for "The Monkey" gave me the feeling that Osgood Perkins made the movie since he just needed something to do.
He's got another one out later this year!
I think the parts of LONGLEGS that worked were probably my favourite movie of the past twenty years or so, and I love '80s Stephen King an unusual amount, so Osgood Perkins adapting a story from Skeleton Crew should be right up my alley. But from this review, Perkins seems to have really crossed a line here from horror into pure gross-out. (I'm referring to his protagonist being a grown man named "Petey".)
Go see it; it's a ton of fun. Perkins took a lot of liberties with the original story, but he had to. And yes, lots of gory effects, but the movie aims more for dark humour than horror.
Oh, I won't miss it!
I'm a King fanatic, but I have no loyalty to the original story. I haven't read it in 30 years, but mostly, I remember rooting for the monkey.
I feel the story is among King's weaker efforts. I'm a King completist, though I still have to catch up with some of the adaptations from recent years. I've ranked them! (warning: Shawshank and Shining are controversially low) https://letterboxd.com/clauditorium/list/stephen-king-movies/
King's greatest gift was always realistically capturing how someone would react to the intrusion of a horror scenario into their life. And, sure, I absolutely believe that if a haunted toy monkey were stalking someone and killing people, that experience would make that person into a miserable, dour, abusive asshole (which is how I remember the protagonist from the short story - not sure if I recall correctly.) But if I do recall, the story really needed to pick a lane---either make the protagonist a villain or give him some redeeming qualities. The Monkey did neither.
Skimmed a few of your takes - it's interesting how subjective horror is, isn't it? Quite a lot of stuff that doesn't work for you works for me, and vice-versa. Hundred percent with you on Shawshank, though. As I was saying over on the other Reveal thread from last week about King adaptations, it's so weird that they did *that* to *this* story and that it ended up so popular.
Funny, I don't recall The Monkey's protagonist being an asshole, but it's been a few years. I write a few sentences for every King thing I read, and this is what I had for this one: "Ineffective because from the start, it feels like nothing can be done to solve the problem. Also, it makes no sense that aside from kicking it, he never tries to destroy it. Overlong and repetitive. Well-written, but for naught." I say this as a big fan: a LOT of King stories are overlong.
I'm very, very curious what you'll think of how the movie presents the protagonist. If you can remember to, let me know here once you've seen the film!
I think Darabont's core problem is that he's pretentious. His movies are really well made, but his desire to be seen as a great writer-director brings them down.
"Ineffective because from the start, it feels like nothing can be done to solve the problem."
This is the stock complaint people should be making about King in place of "his endings suck". He loves his unkillable, unstoppable monsters! (Not always, but enough of the time that it's a problem.)
At some point, I might do what you've done and go through and rank the King adaptations I've seen on LB with a short writeup---I've mostly only seen adaptations of novels published before 2000 or so. I'll tag you on there if I get around to that.
The country is screaming towards autocracy and everything sucks. I am determined to enjoy the dumb violent monkey movie. It's literally the least I can do.
On the upside, it’s been quite a year for monkey movies.
"It is fortunate for screenwriter Zach Dean that much of what follows is shrouded in the fog of “spoiler alert,” because the truth about the gorge is immensely stupid and nonsensical. Director Scott Derrickson—best known for Sinister, Doctor Strange, and a lot of very bad tweets"
two exquisite burns back to back!
re: the monkey, I'm very unclear why people keep winding up the monkey?
Poor Apple TV taking strays. Tbh I think they’re putting out quality over quantity when it comes to content (at least TV)
I used to feel this way and then I sat through 40 minutes of Ghosted, and 4 episodes of that Noomi Rapace show about parallel dimensions that was so obviously from the first 5 minutes about parallel dimensions but continued to pretend that we all hadn't yet figured out it was about parallel dimensions.
Had similar thoughts about The Monkey - started off fun, but I wanted more from the movie. Left the movie feeling pretty disappointed all in all.
On a side note - are you guys still posting these reviews to Rotten Tomatoes? Haven't seen your reviews there in a bit, and thought you guys stopped posting for a while.
Do we have to do the no-spoilers thing when what you're not supposed to talk about is really stupid?
I had high hopes for The Monkey as a longtime Stephen King fan. The trailer has been playing nonstop at my local Alamo. I still have a lot of affection for the first few Final Destination movies and this seemed like the same mix of gore and fun. Oh well.
Another item for the list of things buried at Apple TV+: the excellent WeWork series with Anne Hathaway and Jared Leto. Have we as a culture truly recognized Anne Hathaway for the "eww-yucky" face she makes after sipping a disappointing smoothie, in the midst of a business meeting about WeWork's total meltdown?
You should go see The Monkey. I think it actually improves on the short story, and it's a lot of fun.
Caught up with The Monkey and the review is correct - pretty flat and lame because it sort of just does two jokes over and over (1. someone dies suddenly, and 2. people talk in some “surprising” unfiltered way like when Maslany goes on about death to her two kids). Got pretty tired of it pretty fast, although there are amusing moments here and there. The Adam Scott opening is the best part because he’s so hammy.
Anyway I didn’t like Longlegs at all either so maybe Osgood Perkins is not my guy
I must disagree on The Monkey, which I thought was a blast. To me it wins the prize for "most improved from page to screen" King adaptation (which is not the same as "best adaptation"). The short story felt overlong and repetitive, with some logical issues. The movie aims for fun, and it hits that target with gusto. And though it cheerfully throws realism out the window in service of that fun, it sticks to its internal logic. Creative deaths and lots of dark humour (much of it created by smart editing). And the monkey looks creepy. The brevity of the original narrative needed to be expanded to become a movie, and Perkins came up with a solid story.
"But the film feels like an adaptation of a video game that doesn’t exist" - could easily fit into the Control / Alan Wake universe, and I don't think that's a coincidence, considering the name "Darklake".