28 Comments
Feb 14Liked by Scott Tobias

Learning that Madame Web actually features a fireworks factory made me laugh uncontrollably for several minutes.

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The fact that they got there is at least something.

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The movie that gives audiences what they want!

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NOTE: Madame Web died on the way back to her home Spider-Verse

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founding

"Scott plays Ben Parker, the “Uncle Ben” that isn’t steamed; Emma Roberts appears as a pregnant Mary Parker who at one point hosts a naming game at her baby shower;"

when does this movie purport to take place?

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Is it supposed to be 2003, based in what Scott mentions in the review? Is it obviously a “period piece”?

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author

Yes. 2003. When there was a Blockbuster in Manhattan. That's about the extent of the film's period work, other than the pop soundtrack.

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This just makes me wonder how movies of the future will telegraph "2003". Blockbusters. Pay phones on the street. OutKast's Hey Ya. Giant iPods with the telltale white cords. Billboards for America Online. Centrist Democrat Senators wandering across the screen and saying "War in Iraq and Afghanistan sounds fine to me!"

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Is it the one on 57th and 8th? I rented Christopher Lambert’s Beowulf there!

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founding

ahhh I hadn't taken the timeline in the review literally, or done the math.

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I read somewhere that it was supposed to be set in the ‘90’s originally but they retconned it to 2003 (probably as late as they could do without worrying about smartphones and social media) in reshoots. No idea how accurate that is but it wouldn’t surprise me somehow.

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Happy Never Having to Sit Through the Trailers for One Love and Madame Web Ever Again Day to those who celebrate. I see quite a few movies in theaters, and these two have been the bane of my movie-going existence (along with Argylle) for months now.

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author

I think I first saw the ONE LOVE trailer back in the fall.

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I saw it only once, in front of DEAD RECKONING all the way back in August.

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Right?! I can only assume they were delayed by the actor’s strike, because it feels like I’ve been seeing the One Love trailer for a full year at least.

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Yes! I feel honor bound to see it after seeing (several different) trailers for like a year? I was so relieved when it finally got a firm release date and even though I’m sure I’ve seen all of the key bits, I just need the release of seeing the whole thing 😂

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Already feeling nostalgic for Never Having To Sit Through The Trailer For Argylle Day.

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Oh don’t worry, if you have AppleTV and don’t swipe away from the home screen immediately, you’ll still be “treated” to the beginning trill of Bowie’s “Let’s Dance” as the trailer starts to autoplay there… (and I LIKE the song, I just never have a desire to hear it again for maybe a decade? after that trailer)

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Feb 14Liked by Scott Tobias

One and a half stars seems generous? What would it take for y'all to give half a star - literally repugnant ideology and incompetence at the same time?

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author

I toyed with one star. But I think you're right about the repugnance and incompetence needing to link up.

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author

Really bad but harmless: 1.5

Morally repugnant on a deep level but technically accomplished: 1.5

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founding

is this the lowest scored movie on The Reveal?

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We need a browsable reviews section.

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Any other #90skids just think of Jamaican tourism ads when they hear One Love?

Let's get together and feeeeeeeeel all right

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I remember the IL Secretary of State's office used "Waiting in Vain" for an ad campaign to encourage organ donation in the late 90s/early 2000s

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"Emma Roberts appears"

more surprising than a Stilt-Man cameo to say the least.

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Ladies and gentlemen, I just purchased my tickets to see Dune 2 in IMAX. This allows me to remain ebullient in the face of these releases, as if they didn’t exist. If we can make it a couple more weeks, we’ll all call the big one and be rescued by Denis.

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The best part of these terrible movies, without a doubt, are these reviews. Unsteamed Uncle Ben! Depth of dorm room poster! A part of me wishes you guys would review even worse movies, but this drek is cruelty enough, no doubt...

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